Blue Like Midnight
by Farbautidottir
Summary: Lily Evans is certain she wants something more than friendship with her childhood friend, Severus Snape. At least, she thinks she's certain. As long as he wants the same, of course. As long as he likes her. And that's the problem... she doesn't know! This Valentine's Day, she's determined to find out. (AU where Lily and Severus both sort Ravenclaw)


**Blue Like Midnight**

Lily trotted after Severus from Ravenclaw Tower. His blue and bronze scarf flew behind him alongside his ink black hair, which tended to hue blue when they were in the moonlight. He always reminded her of the night sky in this way. Perhaps it was because they spent so many nights under the stars back in Cokeworth, lying on Lily's quilt of old t-shirts and holding hands while Sev pointed out the various constellations to her.

After first year, when they'd sorted into Ravenclaw together, it was Lily who became more knowledgeable about astronomy and astrology, mapping their days based on the readings at night. Sev noted she had a knack for this type of divination, which Lily had blushed at, but their professor said precisely the same before her Yule Break her first year.

Now, five years later in the brightness of early Saturday afternoon in February—February 14th to be quite precise, because Lily certainly had noticed the date— Sev wound them the unfamiliar route out of the castle and down to the Quidditch broom shed near the practice pitch.

"You sure we're dressed warm enough?" she asked, tightening her scarf as Severus alohamora'ed the lock.

"It's not a long flight. You can ride with me, if you want." He said, opening the door.

There was a yell of protest from inside and Severus slammed shut the door again, an extremely uncomfortable expression spread across his face.

"Who was that?" Lily frowned.

"Potter." Severus spat out, his expression unchanged from before.

"Well, we don't have all day. The sun'll set in a few hours." Lily pushed past him and knocked on the door.

"Oi! One minute, okay!" James Potter's voice came scathingly from inside.

"There are _other_ places to, well—_other places_!" Lily yelled back through the closed door.

Silence followed, then a doglike yelp and some scrambling. Finally, the door opened, and James poked his head out, flush-faced and clothing loosely reassembled. Buttons were undone, showing off his strong pectoral muscles a little too generously, and his belt buckle wasn't even clasped.

"I thought that was you, Evans." He smirked. "Guard your little eagle hearts for what comes next."

Severus pulled out his wand.

"Oh relax, Snivellus! You don't have to go full Prefect on us today."

_Us?_ Lily thought. Her non-vocalized question was answered a moment later when an even more disheveled looking Sirius Black clamored out of the shed behind James.

"Oh, hiya, Lily! Severus! Lovely day, isn't it?" Sirius grinned.

"Yes, it is." Severus said tightly, sheathing his wand. "That's why we wanted to go for a broom ride before the sun sets."

"Sure, sure, of course, my Prince." Sirius bowed low and dramatically, and Lily rolled her eyes with a sigh.

"Can you move?" she said.

"We were just practicing…" Sirius continued, putting an arm around James, who knocked it off.

"Practicing, huh?" Severus asked, taking the bait.

"Come _on_, Sev." Lily said in her voice that typically whipped him right into shape.

"Quidditch. We were obviously practicing Quidditch, you dirty, dirty boy." Sirius grinned, placing a hand on Severus' shoulder and running his fingers through his hair in what he must have thought was a sexy manner. Sirius' hair was equally black as Sev's, like his surname, but far less well-kempt. On looks alone, you'd never guess he was from one of the oldest, wealthiest wizarding families in Britain, possibly Europe.

"Oh, honestly, get your paws off of him. Personal boundaries, Black!" Lily growled, swatting him away and snatching Sev by the arm towards the broom shed.

"Pads, come on. Moony will want a report on the modifications." James said in a low tone, taking Sirius' hand.

"Enjoy your ride!" Sirius called after them, making a lewd motion with his hips before James hauled him back towards the castle. They could hear him crooning out the Steve Miller Band's hit from last year; the "I want to fly like an eagle!" chorus floated tunelessly through the cold, damp air.

The broom shed was a disaster zone. Less like the two had been having sex and more like it'd been ravaged by an oversized, clumsy animal.

"What the hell were they doing in here?" Lily wondered aloud.

"I don't want to think about it." Severus groaned. "Let's just grab the closest brooms and get outta here. I'm _not_ getting detention for _their _mess."

Lily grabbed two brooms, tossing one to Severus and they left the shed with some haste, hurrying behind it and out of immediate sight from the castle before mounting their brooms.

"Okay, so where are we going?" she asked.

"Just follow me."

Sev took off and Lily scrambled to follow. He did this a lot. His confidence was full steam ahead when they were at school, especially when alone or in class. It didn't hurt that he was the most popular guy in Ravenclaw and nearly so in Hogwarts. Admittedly, she wasn't very far behind in popularity herself. Both Prefects, they were top of their class, always competing against each other, with Sev just a little better at potions and Lily just a little better at transfiguration. Most people assumed they were a couple, but they weren't.

Lily sighed, glad Sev wasn't going too fast through the air. She didn't hate flying by any means, but she wasn't very good at it. Just average. Thankfully flying was only required first year and wasn't really graded beyond "Able to fly." Her sigh, however, had little to do with the activity, and more to do with the fact that they still weren't a couple.

She thought he might finally make a move once they'd turned seventeen last month, but nothing had changed. Now she was faced with the option of making a move herself or facing the reality that Sev just saw her as a friend. And part of her wondered if that was even the full story. Especially with how he'd never dated anyone their five and a half years at Hogwarts, and _especially_ with how he reacted so much to Sirius Black all the time. It was like Sirius knew precisely how to rile up Sev, and maybe that was all it was, but it did give her pause. _Maybe_ Severus was a Chaser for the other team. Still, wouldn't he have told her by now?

"Almost there!" Sev called back to her, ripping her back into reality.

She looked down at their current location, finding herself directly over the bright blue waters of the Great Lake. The sun beat down on the water, glittering crystalline jewels off its surface and tiny rainbows of light if one bothered to really look. And Lily was someone who bothered to look for the beauty in everything and every moment.

Sev's hair gleamed in the sunshine, a blinding reflection due to the natural shine the potion she'd gifted him two birthdays ago brought out. She smiled at the memory.

"You always want to know how my hair is so beautiful and shiny. Here's the secret." She'd said after he opened it and frowned with insult.

"So, you think I need a girly hair potion to look good?" he'd muttered.

"I think your gender norms are severely misguided and you don't bathe properly because no one ever taught you how. But if you want to continue looking greasy all the time and insult my ingenuity, then there's that." She'd replied.

He'd used the potion that night, in the shower which he assured her he, in fact, did know how to do properly, and the next day he got more attention than he ever had in his life. To Lily's excitement and dismay, it was very positive attention from many, many girls their year and some older. Needless to say, he'd continued using the potion and figured out how to brew it himself before running out. He was that smart, that creative, to be able to recreate a proprietary formula. Lily admired him so much for it. She told him this often, but he didn't really seem to hear.

Sev dipped down towards a patch of land in the middle of the lake and Lily followed. The landed easily and he smiled at her, looking quite pleased.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"About the island? It's nice." She said, unsure what to really contribute.

He sighed, "You hate it."

"Oh my god, Severus. Get over yourself! You kept what we were even doing from me all week, then bring me here and immediately want praise. I don't even know what this island is." She groaned, gripping her broomstick tighter. If this was how he was going to act, at least she had a way out.

"Sorry, I'm sorry. I got excited." He said softly, moving closer to her.

"Okay, it's okay." She said, still sounding a little put out, but not actually feeling that way.

"I only found it a few weeks back, and I thought of you immediately when I really got to know it." Sev said, his face animated again in the way Lily loved.

"How come?"

"I'll show you, but you have to be calm, peaceful." He placed his broom on the ground and held out his hand to her.

"Okay…" she said quietly, taking his hand and discarding her broom beside his.

He led her to a tree. It was odd, knobby and ugly by most standards. Lily loved it immediately. It reminded her of the Whomping Willow, but smaller and more tranquil, and somehow, even more alive.

"There's a branch of bowtruckles here." Sev said in a quiet, even soothing voice.

"I've never seen one." Lily admitted.

"They're very shy around humans." Sev said.

They waited a long time, staring at the tree. But no bowtruckles came out.

"Seems they're too shy." Lily said.

"Yeah, it's cold too." Sev shrugged.

"Well, it's still a beautiful tree." Lily said, smiling at him. He smiled back and led them to the sandy beach circling the small island. They sat there, close to the grass, and looked out over the water.

"Sev," Lily started, hesitation in her voice. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer to the question she planned to ask.

"Hm?"

"Can we play Severus Says?" Lily asked, referencing the truth-or-dare style game they'd invented when they were eleven.

"Course" he grinned brightly.

"I want to go first."

"Okay, sure."

"Lily Says, tell me the truth: do you like Sirius Black?" she said it quickly so it wouldn't get stuck midway.

Severus' smile dropped.

"Why would you ask that?"

"You just… I don't know. I wondered." She mumbled. Clearly he _did_ like Sirius if he wasn't willing to answer right off the bat.

"No, I think he's a bully and a git. He's invasive and rude. I don't know if anyone likes him beyond Potter and the gang." Sev said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. Why? Do you like Sirius?" Sev asked, his voice rising a bit.

"God no! He's such an arse." Lily uttered. "No, I just… Severus, are you gay?"

"Am I what?"

"Gay. Do you like boys?"

"Um, no." Sev was frowning. "Why would you think that? Not that it's a bad thing, but I just… do I seem gay?"

"I mean, no. I mean, I don't really know what seems gay to be honest. But I just... you never date anyone and you always seem to be put off by Black. It's Valentine's Day and you're not on a date with anyone, so I just… I just wondered." Lily could barely vocalize the end of the sentence because she was biting back her true feelings as she said it.

"I think it's my turn now." Sev said.

Lily stared, shocked he'd continue playing after that conversation, but she nodded. It was his turn after all.

"Severus Says take off your shirt." He said, a corner of his mouth curving upwards.

"Sev? Really?" Lily asked, not moving.

"You heard." He was grinning now.

Lily searched his eyes a moment, their chocolate brown looking bright and delicious and mischievously sexy. He wouldn't be pranking her. He _never _did that. _They _never did that. But still, it had seemed like this moment, this desire from him, would just never come. It was hard to trust it; even when it was Sev. Especially when it was Sev because there was just so much at stake.

_You only live once._ She reminded herself. Then she quit worrying her lip and started to unbutton her blouse, only pulling off her coat when the white fabric was entirely open to the cold air.

"Lily Says take off your shirt." She said after placing her shirt on the grassy knoll above the sandy beach they sat on. Sev was staring at her bra-covered breasts, smiling. It made her body warm with nerves.

After removing his coat, he took off his shirt, quickly at first, but slower as he went, as if he was afraid to show her what beneath. And then she saw. She saw the scars from long ago, before he learned how to scare his father enough with magic. They were all the ones he'd told her about as kids, the ones she knew existed but had never seen. All these years of friendship and he'd kept them hidden from sight, but not from knowledge.

She smiled at him, it was full of warmth, and said, "It's so cold, I need you to hold me."

"Severus didn't say." He replied cheekily.

"No, he didn't." she said, scooting closer to him and shivering for effect. "But I thought he might make an exception."

"Severus Says take off your bra." Sev said, running a hand over her thigh.

Lily bit her lip and complied. Sev grabbed her scarf ends and pulled her towards him. His hands found her breasts, warming them against the February air with a caressing touch that made the rest of her flush with heat.

"I'm not gay." Sev whispered, his face very close to hers. "I just didn't want to risk what we have."

"Well," Lily said with a coy smile. "Lily Says kiss me."

And he did. She wrapped her arms around him and he gave way to wrap his around her so her breasts were pressed against his pale, warm skin. Their mouths joined, endlessly, passionately. She started to undo his belt buckle, pulling it off easily, as if she'd ever done it before. She hadn't. Not ever.

"Lily" Severus whispered.

"Shh" she replied.

Then he was removing her trousers as well and they were suddenly quite naked on this little island's beach, their bare bottoms on their spread out coats, making a strange bed among the sand and weeds. Lily laid back onto it and Severus mounted her, positioning himself and sliding inside her easily because she wanted him that badly she was quite wet. They both breathed out in surprise.

"Is this okay?" he asked, already inside her.

"Yes, yes." She said, nodding.

It lasted longer than she expected, having heard stories from her roommates that the first time was absolutely terrible. Sev was different in this way too, it seemed. And she smiled through the whole of it, enjoying their closeness as he moved in and out of her body.

And then it was over.

Sev lay beside her, a little bit on top of her to attempt to keep her warm. It wasn't working incredibly well, but she didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Lily," Sev murmured.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Lily said nothing. She _liked_ Severus. She liked him _a lot_. But _I love you_ seemed… it seemed like a major step. They'd _only just_ admitted their feelings for each other!

"Sorry." Sev said. "I got excited. Sorry."

"It's fine." Lily said, regretting the words as soon as they slipped out.

But there was nothing to be done. She didn't want to say, "I love you" back. She wanted to just put her clothes back on and go back to the castle. She wanted to take all of this back. But they couldn't. They had done it. Now it was done. Their friendship couldn't go back to what it was before. She felt angry. Angry at him. Angry at herself. Angry at Sirius Black for misleading her into such a dangerous territory with his false flirting.

They lay there for a long time, saying nothing, feeling a heaviness between them. It was horrible. The sun was bright though, and it helped her feel less cold. Less alone, despite still being in Sev's arms. At some point he moved to cover them in their clothes, which helped a bit, and they snuggled into each other.

The next thing Lily knew freezing water was lapping her body and she was shrieking awake. Sev jumped at her shout.

"What's happening?" he cried.

"I don't know! Where are we?" She screamed.

It all came together as she yelled the words. She shot up and whisked their now partially dry clothes from the sand. Darkness had fallen over the grounds, the three-quarters moon lighting them up.

"We fell asleep! We fell _asleep_!" she cried. "Oh fuck and I'm naked still."

"So am I, if that's any consolation." Sev said lightly.

Lily looked at him, his face pulled into a smirk and she started to laugh. He laughed with her, pulling her against him until the wet clothes touched his body.

"Bloody hell those are freezing!" he wailed.

"Can you dry them? I don't know how."

"Yeah, think so." He said. "Put them over there, on the dry ground."

Lily laid out their clothing and stood back as Severus tried his drying charm. It seemed to work and they breathed a sigh of relief. They quickly redressed and then Lily looked around for the broomsticks. She spotted them near the bowtruckle tree, though she didn't remember them leaving them there. A chill went down her spine.

"Sev," she whispered.

"Yeah?" he whispered back.

"The brooms have moved." She whispered.

They both had their wands out now, casting lumos for extra light. Their free hands found each other into a tight grasp. They inched closer to the brooms and the tree, looking all around for signs of other people. No one seemed to be there.

"It's the bowtruckles!" Severus chuckled, relaxing.

Lily looked down and saw a bunch of green stems appeared to grow out of their broom handles.

"The brooms use wood similar to wand wood. That's what helps them fly." Severus was chuckling. "Oh, who knew _Quidditch Through the Ages_ would _ever_ come in handy."

He started to laugh harder at his own little joke, but then winced harshly.

"What?" Lily asked with concern.

"My face hurts." He said.

Lily pointed her wand at his face to see it better.

"Oh, Sev." She gasped.

"What?!"

"You're bright red! You're so sunburnt!"

He groaned.

"Oh god, do you think I'm sunburnt too? I don't feel like I am, but then… you didn't at first either!" Lily wailed. Truly she felt fine.

Sev pointed his wand at her face, the light blinding her momentarily.

"No, you look perfect as usual." He said.

Her stomach did a little flip flop of butterflies and she pushed up on the balls of her feet to kiss him. Maybe it didn't matter if they weren't friends now. Maybe she did want him, even if she wasn't ready to say _I love you_ yet. He didn't seem to care about that. Why should she?

"Let's fly back before we get in too much trouble." Severus said softly.

"One more minute."

She kissed him again, savoring the feel of it. Her beating heart. His wet mouth. The damp air, more freezing now than before. It was perfect. All of it. She pulled away to look at him. She simply wanted to look. Instead she ran her fingers through his hair.

"You know, your hair has this tint of blue in the moonlight. It's like you're midnight itself." She smiled.

"The witching hour." His eyes glistened with delight.

"Yes," she breathed.

They kissed again. Their broomsticks soon forgotten. The bowtruckles starting to move again, back to their home in the tree, assured they were no longer being watched.


End file.
